Part 1 of 2:
I’m taking the time to finally respond today after making another leap of faith. I am resigning my position today in the midst of financial strife and nearing bankruptcy. I’m doing this as a matter of self-preservation with the calm my faith provides me.
I believe God does love me and wants me to prosper. I also believe God has given me free will. I also believe that God is intelligent enough to use my choices to fit into His plans. I have no proof to offer you that God does in fact step in to help, just my observation and choice to believe in God rather than an exceptional level of coincidence.
If God loves me / us, why do bad things happen? I have accepted the answer: because God gave us free will and I imagine for a very good reason. I was reading the book of Exodus for a probably the tenth time The_Doc_Man gave his response to me. I’ve studied this book in disciple class and found our common ground in disgust for organized religion because I had a feminist trying to tell me how wrong my Bible was for depicting women in such a light trying to lead the class. I also found out that the Israelites had the best of the lands for generations and were favored for the good fortune brought by their skills. Then a new Pharaoh comes to power, looks around at his people taking second place to the Israelites and starts treating them very badly. This could be written off as simple nationalism and anti-immigrant sentiment in out current vernacular but is more commonly interpreted as God telling His people “you’ve gotten too comfortable and lost focus on what’s really important”.
Throughout the old testament, God delivers great wealth to His people and then allows it to be taken away again later when His people don’t hold up their end of the bargain. So, my first answer as to why God lets / (even helps) bad things happen: Our disobedience to Him. My second answer is: God is showing us some tough love from time to time by allowing us to suffer the consequences of our actions. I find this sentiment is often rebuffed with some form of a deadbeat dad response; I reject that response but respect the different views that produce the diabolically opposed positions. Either you accept that God is the universal sovereign, or you don’t; that typically determines which side of the argument you’re on. Many times, I find Christians struggling with their faith who are stuck in the middle teetering from one position to another while fighting through their emotion; or I’m projecting my own weakness onto others in an attempt to understand them.
The problem with organized religion:
The tenderness that Jesus Christ spoke to the flock, and to the lost among the house of Israel, was not granted to the Pharisees and Sadducees. His forerunner, John the Baptist, and Christ Himself, introduced them to the multitudes as ‘brood of vipers’ (Matthew 3:7, 12:34) and descendants of Abraham, only according to the flesh (Matthew 3:9).
Jesus pronounced that upon their hands all the righteous blood of the prophets would be placed. To them He ascribed son ship to Satan (John 8:44-45), and pronounced anathemas of the worst kind. Messiah proposed to the multitudes that the Pharisees’ self-deception, false teaching, and murderous hatred gave evidence to their status as objects of wrath and non-citizens of the heavenly kingdom. (
https://bcri.wordpress.com/2016/03/14/jesus-warning-against-the-pharisees-matthew-231-12/)
I borrowed that because it works for my point. It’s basically politics in a different uniform. People need to be organized and someone has to do it. Someone steps up, builds a team and starts to do things to help the people. The people love this because its one less thing on their to do list and one more thing on their list of reasons to believe in a false sense of security. This develops into bigger organizations that need funding and control over resources. That control over resources tends to help people forget why they are doing what they are doing and begin believing they are better and more deserving because of what they do. This snowballs in full fledged religions and government all the same. To summarize: the problem with organized religion is the organization into large enough entities that the people at the top forget their role is to serve the people at the bottom.
In spite of my observations of the corruption and politics that drove me away from my childhood church; I am a Christian. In spite of the internal conflict I see within my current church; I am a Christian. In spite of the fact that I do not like organized religion, I accepted the call to serve as a deacon in my church, so I could serve. I am the youngest, least trained and have the least responsibility, but I serve. I choose this church because despite its faults, we also serve the community in many ways. I find that my two years of showing up half the Sundays (or less) and serving community meals, supporting fund raisers for the local boys / girl scouts etc. is rewarding to me. The feeling I get when I do something for someone else knowing they can never repay me is gratifying and makes me feel like I’ve honored the gifts that God has given me.
@The_Doc_Man: I empathize with your journey that broke your faith. (Forgive me if I’ve over stated my interpretation of your experience) . Maybe I refuse to agree with you because I am in this very same struggle in life, looking to God for answers and guidance. I’ve lived in pain for my 40 years with brief instances of relief from time to time. I’ve been knocked down only to start back up again. What I see in hindsight is all the things that happened at the right time to allow me to grow and move on with my life.
Follow this timeline of the last year or so:
September 22nd 2017, I discovered my employer was stealing from us for months by way of taking deductions from our pay for medical insurances but not paying the insurance company. This was the last straw as I was already serving as a state’s witness to the environmental laws they were breaking. I quit with a surgery scheduled for October 9th. I barely had a month and a half of expenses saved but quite anyway. I had to sign up for COBRA to extend my health coverage and luckily wasn’t forced to pay the past-due premiums on the company’s plan. The approval process was grueling and I was in so much pain that I brought my gun with me to the hospital because I wasn’t going to be in pain that afternoon one way or another. 5 minutes before the hospital was going to cancel my surgery, the insurance company provided the authorization paperwork.
I had my surgery grinding out the back part of my vertebrae in my neck (C5/6) as well as very delicate carving of the foramen (side channels) to relieve the pressure on the nerves and in once case for my left arm, separate the nerve from the bone spur cutting into it. This approach had to be taken because the first surgery fusing these vertebrae didn’t heal right and the fix is a once in a lifetime option saved for later. I woke up from the surgery without help from medication because my previous stint on pain management ended in a three-month detox. I remember calling to Jesus to save me, heal me and forgive me when I woke up in pain. I was able to endure with very little help after I woke up and took a total of 10 Percocet in the hospital (3 days) for recovery to manage the pain.
It turned out that I was out of work for two months. My unemployment claim was denied repeatedly until I finally made it to a hearing with the state where I clearly asked the “judge” (for a lack of a better term) “How long can I steal from my employer before they are allowed to fire me? Take that answer and apply it to how long I should have allowed my employer to steal from me, especially when the response from The VP and HR were “We did it for you own good”. I won the case and received back pay just in time to start rebuilding my cash reserves and working for a few months. This money saved my trucking company which has been on the brink of failure four times this year and is dancing that line again today. The job that I had went sour less than three weeks before my contract was to mature and I would be hired in directly. I had another heart attack the morning after I told my boss I needed a break. The client decided two weeks out after a heart attack was too much, so I spent another two months unemployed.
I found my current position that was wonderful for months but in the last 45 days or so has taken an extreme turnabout which is why I am tendering my immediate resignation this morning . I don’t have six months of expenses saved up any longer, in fact much of what I had is keeping the company alive. I do however have a full pantry and deep freezer because I managed to score $700 in side work this last week out of nowhere and it only took me about 8 hours to do the work. My wife has a Christmas budget in cash, my heat and water are prepaid for the next year. My mortgage is less than I used to pay in rent. I have ideas that could turn into self-employment which has been on my mind for over two years to just do it. I have a network of friends, most of whom are in worse shape than me, all taking care of each other. I have a therapist telling me that he hears plans and concrete inspiration rather than desperation and is helping me organize a plan of action.
All of these circumstances, and there’s plenty more where those came from, could destroy me and cause me to question my God. I could look at the strife and difficulty I’ve faced in my life and deny my Lord but I refuse to do so. In fact, I look to God and ask, what do You want me to do? What areas of my life need to be corrected now? I look for the fault in myself rather the fault in my God. It gives me hope. It keeps me typing “;” instead of “.” In my book of life.