The last mosquito...

[Uncle Gizmo]

The nights are drawing out and the house is getting colder. I'm wearing my jumper in the office to try and delay the onset of late boiler syndrome. If I can eek out another week or two before having the boiler on then I can save a shilling. That's a long way round of saying my office is a bit chilly. I hear a buzz, this mozzie does the ear 'ole fly by, stupidly announcing its presence. A bit of a shock, there shouldn't be any mozzies around now? But then I recall it's happened before and it's usually about this time, the time you get your jumper out, when things turned a bit colder, and mozzies appears from nowhere, looking for his last meal I reckon, before the onset of Winter.

Well you little bastard, you've chosen the wrong chap here mate, Wack! as I hit myself around the head trying to get the little B... But I missed! And again, a slap on the arm, missed, and again slap on the neck, missed and it's cold, the little sod shouldn't have turbo boost, the cold should have disabled it. But no, he's a wicked, clever little sod whizzing around and I didn't get him, but I don't think he got a bite. I'm just waiting now, he'll be back tonight! And the heating's on, it'll be a bit warmer and I reckon he will be a bit faster, but I'm ready, I've got my fly swatter out..

 

[The_Doc_Man]

Mosquitoes, like any other animal, seek warmth and food. You, being warm-blooded and a bigger (therefore easier) target, are a mosquito's dream. And contrary to public misconception, they don't got for something sweet. They like it salty. So try to not sweat in those warm clothes. Also, if you are bothered by mosquitoes, don't come to south Louisiana. For us, the common swamp mosquito is the unofficial state bird.

 

[Jon]

I hear mosquitoes like damp places. I knew someone from Finland, which has a ton of lakes, and they said the mosquitos are everywhere.

 

[The_Doc_Man]

I live maybe three blocks from the Lake Ponchartrain levee and one block from a drainage canal. On the lake side of that levee, it is easy to find small tidal pools where the little buggers can find moisure and shelter very easily. When I was a kid, my parents lived about 1/2 block from the Mississippi River levee, which had even more tidal pools than the lakefront. For me, "skeeters" are a way of life.

 

[Nauticalgent]

...and? Is it still among the living for did you manage to kill it?

 

[Jon]

I have a Buddhist philosophy: don't swat anything! But I know that is kinda hypocritical, because when I go for my morning walk, I probably tread on, crush and kill many many insects in the grass. Sorry to them all...

 

[The_Doc_Man]

There are many insects for which that Buddhist philosophy would clash with natural instincts. For us in New Orleans, palmetto bugs (a large type of roach with dark brown wings and darker brown carapace) are simply "fair game." Not to mention the satisfying "crunch" sound. I am reminded of the scene in Men in Black where Will Smith, while facing a giant insect, gets a really noisy crunch from a big roach and then says, "Whoops... was that your auntie?" Some folks in other theaters might go "yecchh!" but in New Orleans, that would get a cheer!

 

[The_Doc_Man]

Speaking of "last mosquito" - it would appear that I am the last person to post here in weeks. Jon, I haven't forgotten you, but looks like the forum is in a profound dry spell. I'll keep on checking, my friend. Hope things have picked up with you since your recent loss. I know it takes a while.

 

[Jon]

Yes, you are right Doc. It has been a bit quiet here. I've been distracted with other things. One of those things is training myself up to be a full-stack developer. I am learning Ruby, Ruby on Rails, and related stuff. I fancy trying my had at developing some apps for the Amazon Seller industry. For example, there is no tool to calculate the Lifetime Value of the customer. I had to calculate it myself recently for my customers, and it was laborious. However, the insights gained were terrific. For example, on one product, the lifetime value was £91 and on the other £14. This significantly affects how much you can spend on advertising in your effect to acquire a new customer. Without that knowledge, you are hampered by how much traffic you can buy, without the perception of a negative ROI. Interestingly, I know two other Amazon sellers. One doing revenue of about $200K per year and the other getting close to $10M per year. Neither know or have calculated their lifetime values!