Has divorce affected your mental health?

Insane_AI

Founding Member
#21
Anxiety does make me feel emotionally and physically drained. The physical shaking and tremors, lack of sleep, never able to "switch off" almost like i don't feel in control of my body or mind. Its hard to describe.
Reach out if you need it. I'm a stranger from across the pond, my opinion only matters if you like it and choose to give it worth. I can be a pretty good sounding board too.
 

Insane_AI

Founding Member
#23
Is the anxiety debilitating because the tension saps the energy out of you, or is it something else? The voices in your head thing, is that just the same thing that most of us have, like when we think to ourselves in words, or is it something else?
For me it is both physically and mentally debilitating. It can feel like a heart attack or just light headed adrenaline rush with difficulty breathing. As for the voice in my head, it's me just a part that has routines set in negative thought. Mindfulness and CBT help reprogram this routine.
 

Insane_AI

Founding Member
#25
The CBD helps with pain by reducing the inflammation - this helps keep my anxiety down because the memory of what the pain used to be is often worse than the pain I experience now.
THC can alleviate anxiety in most people but the studies I've seen show about 10% of users will experience increased anxiety. Also, those who ingest more than they should have severe problems with anxiety until they come down.

If you know someone who needs pain relief I suggest an indica dominant strain. I have a friend from church (35 years older than me) with MS who does well with cannabis candies. The THC content helps the pain, the CBD content addresses the nerves. 5-HTP is an over the counter supplement here in the USA that also helps with the nerve conduction and reduces pain slightly (nerve specific in my case)

Other nerve health ideas:
Black Cherries - eat a bowl full every day if you can afford it.
an Anti-inflammatory diet (https://www.drweil.com/diet-nutrition/anti-inflammatory-diet-pyramid/) helps as well.
Yoga. actually any activity that promotes blood flow to the area helped me. I took a position cooking at night to move my arms more often and it helped.
 

Insane_AI

Founding Member
#27
Yes, I do Yoga, just not as much as I used to or as much as I will after this next meeting with my doctors next week (hopefully)

As for CBD, no you don't smoke it per se. OK: there is a strain of cannibis called Charlotte's Web designed for high CBD content and nearly zero THC content that could be smoked but it's not available to me where I live and being a reformed cigarette smoker, I don't think it would be a good idea for me.

I get my CBD oil via expeller pressed organically grown hemp, sourced from the state of Colorado, USA. There are a few companies that synthesize CBD in a crystalline form but find the oil is best. I also like to pair it with a mug of lavender tea or chamomile as they are both cousins to cannabis and the terpenes tend to enhance the effect in addition to masking the flavor which is nutty but still 'green'.
 

Jon

Administrator
Staff member
#28
Do the doc meetings help out much?

I can imagine the CBD thing getting into a nice little routine, a bit like when I go to my local coffee shop and order the same thing each day: medium cappuccino extra hot takeaway cup + biscotti. That is until they changed the brand of biscotti to a rubbish one. :mad:
 

Insane_AI

Founding Member
#29
Do the doc meetings help out much?
Some do. This is going to be a "Bring Jesus to the table with you" kind of meeting. (Because He's the only one who will save you). I am demanding some changes to the team be made and now that I have an advocate working with me I may actually get the rest of what I need.
 
#34
Anxiety and depression go hand in hand in this specific way: Both are self-feeding mental attitudes. (They differ in many other ways.) The key to either of them includes identifying the triggering condition or behavior and learning WHY it triggers your attack. Then learn to handle the trigger differently. I know, easy as Hell to say, harder than Hell to do. But that's how I eventually got away from suicidal depression.

This actually ties in to Jon's question in another thread about making things more efficient by changing habitual behavior. If you see your anxiety or depression as being a barrier to a better and more productive life (or more satisfying, take your pick), then it is time to change the behavior pattern that is in the way of your progress.
 

Jon

Administrator
Staff member
#35
The sad thing is, when you are down in the dumps it is often harder to get the motivation to pull yourself up out of the hole. I suppose that is when a support network helps. Yet when it comes to divorce, you are losing your partner who may have provided support in the past.
 
#36
I can't claim to be an expert. At best, I'm an armchair psychologist. However, when I had my bouts of clinical depression, I learned that there were common triggers for stress. They included death of a close loved one, changing job status including a new job, moving to a new home, change of marital status, and new additions to a family. These "stressors" contributed to whatever ailed you and could trigger anxiety and/or depression. They all come from the same thing, which is another topic in this forum - facing the unknown as brought about by change. New situations make us fearful just because we feel unprepared. We like to know where we are going, what we are doing, and why we are doing it. In a new situation, we do not always have that luxury.

To be honest, based on what I read, I think it has to be impossible for divorce to NOT affect your mental health. The question is whether it made you feel better or worse, and whether the long-term or short-term effects were the same. For my mother's divorce, she fled an abusive situation by leaving home for another city and becoming hard to find. Her ex didn't pursue her because he ended up in jail for other reasons. But she found a loving man in my father and she found some happiness. For my wife's divorce, as her marriage had soured she became sadder and angrier. But then she found me and I found her. (Yes, I say it that way intentionally.) She claims to be really happy with me and I am happy with her as well. So in both cases, the long-term mental health improved even though the short-term situation was frightening to both, causing much anxiety and uncertainty.
 

Jon

Administrator
Staff member
#37
Maybe it is a case that stress and anxiety goes up whenever the status quo is disturbed. We need the adrenalin to power us through difficult situations. When we all lived for around 35 years up until around 1800, when life expectancy started to rise, the long term effects of stress were not important, since its ravaging effect on the body was never seen.
 

Jon

Administrator
Staff member
#39
We are all here to help if anyone needs it. That is the reason I changed the name of this forum section from Mental Health to Mental Health & Support.
 
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