Blood pressure

[Jon]

We all know high blood pressure is the silent killer. There are few symptoms to speak of, but the effects can be devastating. I checked mine yesterday afternoon and notice it is much higher than it normally is. This has been the same for the last few months. This is a worry.

If I can lose a little weight, this might help. Also improving my diet. But both are oh so hard! I suppose it comes down to this: eat to live, or live to eat.

 

[Bee]

How high is high? Are you able to share?

 

[Jon]

Last year I think it was 113 over 79. Yesterday it was 127 over 83.

 

[The_Doc_Man]

Jon, it varies by more than 20 points situationally. There is a subtle purpose behind making you wait in the doctor's waiting room. You have to sit down and read some boring magazine. That calms you down. If you took your measurements under different situations with respect to how recently you ate and whether you had just seen an irritating or infuriating news broadcast, you would expect variations.

During my mother's illness, my health clearly diminished because I was focusing on her needs and neglecting mine. When I went to my doctor, he practically blew a gasket. My BP was 160/100 and my weight had ballooned. I'm working on the weight and diet, and with medication, I''m down to the point where I pop 120/70 or so on my BP. That 40/30 difference, however, caused me vision issues and my blood sugar, while not at diabetic levels, IS and what they call "metabolic syndrome" levels. (That's effectively "pre-diabetes.")

I'm not a physician, by my experience is that approximately 130/80 isn't terrible.

 

[Jon]

That is a good level Doc, much better than before!

From my reading, I see that if your Diastolic is over 80, that is classified as high blood pressure. What I have been trying to find out is what the average male blood pressure reading is by age. By comparing with your cohort, it is a more realistic way to see how you are fairing. It is a relative, rather than absolute measurement. For example, if 80% of men over 70 have high blood pressure, if I was in that group it would seem a little more expected.

 

[Insane_AI]

My normal is 115 / 80. Usually when I'm sick or have a headache it will jump to 130 / 80.
Yesterday, I sat with my general practitioner telling him with a calm voice how much pain I'm in, where and how it hurts. The look of disbelief was not received well by myself or my wife. Then he looked at the measurement from the check-in nurse at 175/92 and remeasured it; he got similar readings and decided to believe that I was in pain.

I told him, don't mistake the lack of drama for a lack of pain. This was a blessing and a curse, I had a flare up but it happened on the day I went to see my doctor (finally!). The rest of the day sucked pretty bad and this morning was a mental ride of lining up all the things I'd have to do so my wife could survive without me. Yes, I had suicidal thoughts this morning in response to yesterday's pain and last night's lack of sleep.
I've been in contact with my support network all day and I'm stable.

Why am I sharing this here?
1. I need to get it out. This gives me a way to let it go.
2. I have to accept that I'm going to mentally relapse sometimes and it's ok as long as I use my tools.
3. I hope someone else will see that I survived the mental attack without harming myself and find inspiration that they can too.
4. I don't actually want to die, I just want this shit over already. I can deal with the pain if I know what to do to manage it (or not). The unanswered questions have always been worse than the ones answered with bad news for me and my mind is racing through all the possible ways this can go using the excruciating pain from rounds 1 and 2 as the reference point.

 

[Bee]

Sending warm thoughts to you and thank you for telling us. I'm sorry you are in pain. That makes everything else feel so much worse.

 

[Jon]

I am sorry to hear you are going through these troubles Insane_AI. If it is any consolation, you will see from the threads on this forum that we all seem to have life struggles. Maybe there is safety in numbers. I am no trained psychologist but I wonder if sharing troubles helps in some way. I am interested in your perspective on this.

 

[FiFi]

My normal is 115 / 80. Usually when I'm sick or have a headache it will jump to 130 / 80.
Yesterday, I sat with my general practitioner telling him with a calm voice how much pain I'm in, where and how it hurts. The look of disbelief was not received well by myself or my wife. Then he looked at the measurement from the check-in nurse at 175/92 and remeasured it; he got similar readings and decided to believe that I was in pain.

I told him, don't mistake the lack of drama for a lack of pain. This was a blessing and a curse, I had a flare up but it happened on the day I went to see my doctor (finally!). The rest of the day sucked pretty bad and this morning was a mental ride of lining up all the things I'd have to do so my wife could survive without me. Yes, I had suicidal thoughts this morning in response to yesterday's pain and last night's lack of sleep.
I've been in contact with my support network all day and I'm stable.

Why am I sharing this here?
1. I need to get it out. This gives me a way to let it go.
2. I have to accept that I'm going to mentally relapse sometimes and it's ok as long as I use my tools.
3. I hope someone else will see that I survived the mental attack without harming myself and find inspiration that they can too.
4. I don't actually want to die, I just want this shit over already. I can deal with the pain if I know what to do to manage it (or not). The unanswered questions have always been worse than the ones answered with bad news for me and my mind is racing through all the possible ways this can go using the excruciating pain from rounds 1 and 2 as the reference point.

Sorry you are going through this. Hugs x

 

[The_Doc_Man]

FWIW, my doctor doesn't get upset about me when I pop 130/80 because he says at my age, that isn't unexpected. The fact that I pop lower more often than not makes him reasonably happy. Me too, since it means he doesn't talk about changing drugs. That's the worst part, because while he is (as they say) titrating for effect, I don't always feel so good. Once he gets the dose right, no problem.

 

[Insane_AI]

I am sorry to hear you are going through these troubles Insane_AI. If it is any consolation, you will see from the threads on this forum that we all seem to have life struggles. Maybe there is safety in numbers. I am no trained psychologist but I wonder if sharing troubles helps in some way. I am interested in your perspective on this.

I have a network of three others that do daily check ups. Sometimes the only relief is focusing on the other person's problems long enough to forget your own. Your thoery is sound.

 

[Jon]

I feel a thread coming on..."Life is suffering." Very Buddhist concept.

 

[The_Doc_Man]

Life is suffering? Someone must have a TV that can only get infomercial channels.

 

[Insane_AI]

Life is suffering? Someone must have a TV that can only get infomercial channels.

 

[Jon]

The basis of Buddhism is a doctrine known as the Four Noble Truths. The First Truth is that all life is suffering, pain, and misery.

This.

I remember going to a talk in Brighton once by a Buddhist teacher. We all sat in awe and listened as this wise sage dispelled their wisdom. They said there are Four Noble Truths. Next, they started to go through them but forgot the third truth! Alas, I was not impressed.

 

[The_Doc_Man]

Is that the truth that says, "stuff happens?"

(Actually, they are the truths of "suffering", "cause of suffering", "end of suffering", "path to the end of suffering.")

 

[Jon]

I think so. I need to add these truths to my SuperMemo collection so I don't forget them myself. Also, there is the Eight-fold path.

 

[Insane_AI]

I realize I dropped a bomb on you guys this week. I wanted to follow up.

I want to live. I have a wife that I want to start dating again when our youngest goes to college next year. I have cookbooks to exhaust, books to read / listen to etc.

I've struggled with pain for a long time and I'm tired. I lost confidence in my primary care doc and let the despair take over and played fortune teller for a day and wanted out of the imagined future.

I am going to live a long prosperous life. Thank you to those who showed compassion to me, I appreciate it. I'm doing well now, not just OK.

 

[Jon]

I love cooking nice stuff. Perhaps you can share some of your favourite recipes when you start cooking again.

Please to hear you are in a good state of mind today. Maybe it is a bit like being an alcoholic, you take one day at a time.

From my perspective, my troubles are mounting up. I realise that problems can be cyclical. You get a bunch, they get bad, they come and go. However, I am fascinated with life extension science for a reason. I would like to live a long prosperous life.

 

[The_Doc_Man]

AI, we ALL have those moments when we let the depression in for a moment. It takes a while to chase out the demons again. I remember many times when my depression crept in, crapped on me, and crept out again. Eventually you learn how to see it coming in its early stages and can stop to ask, "What triggered THIS flare-up?" And eventually you get it under control and toss it in the scrap heap again.

So don't worry, I understand.